Now that I’m reaching peak roundness in pregnancy number two, I’m starting to get the looks. You know the looks I mean, strangers are cutting their eyes at my girth, wondering if I am going to leak amniotic fluid all over the floor and/or their shoes. After a particularly eye-catching trip to Target, I started to think about some of the things absolute strangers had deemed worthy tidbits to bestow upon my unsuspecting pregnant self. Sadly, all of the anecdotes below are true and happened to yours truly.
1. Feelin’ The Pain
When I was pregnant with my son, I waddled into a work event of my husbands, 36 weeks pregnant and fresh off of bed rest. The very first human to lay eyes on me outside of my husband and hospital staff took one look at me and said, “Gawd, I hurt just looking at you. You’re overdue, right?” No, not quite, but glad I could share the pain.
2. Perishable Goods
Three days before I delivered my son, I made my way into a local bagel store to fuel up on carbs and lemonade before attempting to tackle the day. On my way out, a stranger physically stopped me to share that her daughter almost died in childbirth. And when I say she shared, I mean she told me gory details of the entire experience (which truly did sound horrible). She concluded by wishing me well as she was now certain that childbirth was the end game for most women, me included. Nothing says “enjoy those last few days of pregnancy!” quite like a death threat.
3. Mustache You A Question
Not long into my second pregnancy, I took some time out to indulge in a manicure. With my toddler happily playing with my husband and a hot Starbucks in hand, I settled in for a hopefully silent 45 minutes of pampering. I was happily reading the subtitles on a rerun of Real Housewives until my nail technician had a quick little question for me:
“Do you take prenatals? I ask because your mustache is thick and prenatal vitamins make your hair grow….”. Needless to say, I paid for a wax. 
4. In My Day
I was stopped by an elderly woman at Target who wanted to let me know a little tidbit from her era. This gem was just what my self esteem needed, especially after the mustache incident, “In my day, we didn’t have the nerve to show off our giant bellies like you girls do now.” Nothing like a thinly veiled dig while purchasing the same antacids as an eighty year old. 
5. Concerned Citizen
No other phrase passes judgement quite like the old “is your doctor concerned that you…”. Imagine standing at the deli counter on your weekly grocery run, ordering turkey sliced just the way you like it, when a stranger approaches you to ask “is your doctor ok with you eating deli meat?”. I should clarify that even though I was gigantically pregnant, I was not chowing down on deli meat in the middle of the grocery store, instead I was just minding my own business, wondering if my toddler will ever eat sandwiches. Looking back, I wish I had asked the stranger if she was a medical professional herself but I’m guessing her passive style of open judgement would prevent her from a career dealing with other human beings. 
Be sure to tune in tomorrow because I polled some of Facebook’s finest mamas and have gathered the best of the worst things that strangers have said to them during their pregnancies!