Today’s Blogtember asks me to: Pass on some useful advice or information that you’ve always remembered

I have knowledgeable parents.

(Sweet Baby Jesus, I look just like both of them…how is that possible!?)

My Dad is one of those Daddy’s who can do anything: fix it, make it, answer it, know it. I swear it goes deeper than a daughter’s love for her Daddy, he just is a Jack Of All Trades (and as my Mom would finish, “and a master of none”. Rude!)

So, as he sent me off to college, he imparted these words of wisdom to me, which I have never forgotten, and have often passed along myself:

Never eat the fruit out of any drink.
And, no matter what happens, do not ever drink any drink made by a boy in a trashcan or a bath tub.

Solid life lessons, ya’ll. You should probably jot that down.

My Mom happens to be super smart and a successful business owner and of course she has shared endless tidbits of amazing life advice and guidance over the years, but the information that I am most grateful that she shared is (brace yourselves)…

 Table Manners.

My mom is, in my life, the Etiquette Queen.
My brother and I both went to Cotillion and my brother could tell you what the difference between a shrimp fork and an oyster fork was by the time he hit Kindergarden.

Place settings at my wedding

Don’t get me wrong, we grew up in a really fun house but my Mom grew up in a more formal home and thus was prepared to wrangle her two heathens into elegant diners if it killed her.
I spent many dinners hearing “put your napkin in your lap”, “left arm off the table”, “work from the outside in”, “put the butter on your bread plate and then on your own roll!”…..
did I leave any good ones out Mom?

As kids, this was tedious, but as an adult, I can honestly say that I have never once been intimidated by any place setting or dining experience, no matter how casual or how formal.
 But I have often been at a work luncheon and seen someone grab the wrong water glass forcing the entire table to all glance awkwardly at each other and shift glasses so no one embarrasses the glass stealer. I have uncomfortably witnessed people take charger plates to the buffet as their dinner plate and then fumble with covering up their mistake with a  nervous giggle (I hate when people are embarrassed…like, can’t watch it happen. Not in movies, not on commercials, not in real life. It makes me cry). And, I have been to more formal events and heard people complain about a thousand forks or extra glasses or miscellaneous protocols and honestly assumed they were intimidated to the tiniest degree or why mention it?

I spy a ton of forks!

We live in a world based on assumptions and it’s sad to say that having the smallest of graces such as basic table manners can carry you in ways that you might not imagine. I cringe to think of sending one of my phantom children off to a business meeting without the slightest knowledge of which water is theirs.
So, thanks Mom!
I owe you (and my children will hate my endless table manner pointers, just like we did!)

P.S. After reading this post back, I realized that my Dad sounds like the guy from Animal House and my Mom sounds like a tyrant (which actually makes me laugh out loud – my Dad did make me watch Animal House as a part of my general education as a human being)!

But, none of these could be farther from the truth.
My Dad definitely didn’t encourage the table manners but he also didn’t teach me to beer bong or anything like that. And my Mom loves an appropriately written thank you note but she also takes her rag top Jeep with a lift kit out mud bogging in her work clothes….soooo, love ya’ll!

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