not so hot
Bath Safety Duck | Newborn Socks | Joovy Baba Sling | Sound Machine | Wipe Warmer | Boppy | Honest Co. Healing Balm | Honest Co. Diapers
Ok, ya’ll asked for, so here it is:
The Newborn/Infant Gear We Hated
Some of my opinions will be controversial and some of you will very strongly disagree with me, and that’s cool, I’m just reporting our personal experience.

In some situations, if I hated a particular product but searched out a replacement, I’ll let you know what made me happy.

I’ve already mentioned that while we started with Madela bottles, we quickly moved to the cheapest bottles on the block. I thought it might be stupid to add every brand of expensive bottle to a cute Polyvore image, so I’ll just mention it here. 
This Rubber Duck is supposed to tell you if your baby’s bathwater is too hot. It’s a really great thought, at a really low price point, but it will scare the living jebuz out of a new parent because it always.says.HOT. In our newborn days, I was so tired that I honestly thought we were going to scald our baby, even though I could clearly feel that the water was barely warm. I think we probably bathed him in water that was a little too chilly thanks to this effing duck. Once the sleep haze parted and we realized that the duck always thought the water was too hot, even in ice cold sink water, we tossed that duck to the side and relied on our common sense.
I purchased this balm when the babe was experiencing a little awkward stage that involved a patch of alligator skin on his head. We confirmed with the pediatrician that we weren’t dealing with cradle cap and she gave us the go ahead to treat it as dry skin….which basically means don’t treat it at all. After a week or so, it wasn’t clearing up with regular bathing and lotion so I purchased the Honest Co. Healing Balm. I won’t lie, this shit is basically over priced Vaseline. It has no scent or chemicals or whatever but it also is very, very greasy. Like oil slick greasy. For days.
After a few days, the balm did clear up the dry skin but I honestly believe that Vaseline would have done the same, I just bought into the Honest hype.
Speaking of the Honest hype, I really don’t care for the Honest Co. diapers. They are indeed cute but I have a little boy so his diaper never shows. And if I had a little girl running around in a dress, I’d put her in bloomers so that’s a moot point as well. The diapers are very expensive and frankly don’t seem to be as absorbent as the regular old Target brand. I just can’t justify the expense for a cute print.
I think this one may throw people, but I never used our Boppy. I thought they were a mandatory baby item but I never once used it. Not when I was attempting to learn to nurse, not when I held him while I was pumping, not when I bottle fed and not when I passed him to people who were unsure with teeny babies. We did use our Boppy Newborn Lounger religiously, and still rock it daily, and in our experience, the Lounger serves more purposes, making it worth the money.  
Ok, there is nothing cuter than teeny little newborn socks. Obviously, I bought tons. I mean, who can resist them?? Yeah, I never used one pair. Actually, wait, yes I did. I jammed a pair onto the baby’s hands when he was in that “I must drag my teeny fingernails over my teeny eyeballs every second of the day” stage. Other than that, they are still sitting in that cute little divider in his top drawer. 
Listen up ladies, there is no need to buy a sound machine. You know that awesome iPad that you have from like 4 years ago? Yeah, it can download a free sound machine app that will play any white noise sound you can imagine. Our baby rocks out to the straight up static sound cranked up as loud as possible. Bonus: that iPad can entertain you by playing old episodes of Big Bang Theory on the CBS app while you are nursing at 2am. 
I hate to break it to babies across the country, but a wipe warmer is not a necessity. In fact, it seems to be setting a baby up for a very harsh slap in the face when his fanny has to be wiped with a cold wipe for the first time. And that time will come, probably in the family bathroom of Target after a massive blow out. Just go ahead and skip all that drama and don’t bother with a wipe warmer. 
Ok, no one panic. I am pro baby wearing. I’m pro baby holding, rocking, pushing in a stroller, swinging in a swing and wearing. Whatever works for you and your tiny tyrant works for me. I just couldn’t quite get comfortable with baby wearing in this particular sling. I watched all of the videos online (because a new mom has tons of time for online tutorials) and tried many, many times to get comfortable with baby wearing in a sling. It was a no go. Thankfully, I was able to exchange my sling for a Baby Bjorn and I love wearing Gray in that. To me, the Bjorn feels much more stable and secure than the sling ever did and we rock it on the reg.

Ok, there it is.
My no go list.
Did we all survive?
Are you coming back tomorrow?

Thanks for requesting this post, ya’ll!