Hey friends!
It’s been a bit since I’ve published a new post around here. Honestly, I gave myself permission to take the month of March to just adjust to all that is changing in our lives. I truly needed to focus on setting up our new routines, adjusting to homeschooling, setting up an “office” in our house and letting this space take a backseat was the only way to do that. In many ways, the choice to slow down work-wise was a huge relief but it was also a struggle. I’ve worked hard to around these parts and letting it “slide” has been a personal disappointment.
As a true introvert, I really only recharge and recenter myself in the times that I am alone – and with the babes home full time for the foreseeable future, it’s taken me a few weeks to really wrap my head around all that I need to do to meet their needs as well as my own. Now that we’ve finally made our way into April (hello, March was the longest month in recorded history), I’m hoping to get back to sharing more here on the blog!
Before I head back to regualr-ish programming, I thought I’d share a life update. We’ve settled into a routine and it is very flexible but looks a little something like dedicating the mornings to Gray’s school work while keeping Georgia entertained and out of his way, lunch and Quiet Rest followed by outside play until dinner. After dinner we have “relax time” where screens are a free for all until books and bed. It’s not perfect but it seems to be manageable for me.
Gray’s teachers are wonderful and have worked so hard to provide them (and us as parents) with daily video lessons and easy, quick lessons we can guide them to do from home. They are only five years old, so I have no desire to make school at home anything but fun so if we don’t get it done, I don’t sweat it and we start fresh the next day. Honestly, the hardest part of Gray’s school day is helping and guiding him while keeping Georgia busy. At two and a half, not much holds her attention besides wrecking her drawers of clothes during a try on session, so keeping her at bay has been interesting.
I hope the kids are none the wiser at ages 5 and 2 and only remember this time as full of moments that our family was together. They know there is a germ that is making people sick and we can’t go to school until that germ goes away. It hasn’t occurred to Gray that we might not go back this school year and so far, his school is still hopeful we will return before the end of the year. Georgia’s school was canceled until fall weeks ago but she is too little to fully understand. She does play “school” where she gets out her lunchbox and her school bag, loads it all up, takes it to the kitchen table and tells me she’s “having her lunch”. I try not to let that make me sad, but it is tough to watch her clearly missing her routine, teachers and classmates.
Justin has been working from home, using out master bedroom as an office. It hasn’t been easy for him but it many ways, it has been a really great moment in time for our marriage. I personally struggle when I feel like someone can’t put themselves in my shoes and therefor is seemingly minimizing my struggles. Since I’ve become a mother, I felt there was no way on Earth that Justin could even begin to understand the struggles I would share about my day to day life. I just knew he couldn’t relate because he’s never been home full time, at the mercy of our children’s schedule and then home full time and running a business like I was, once the blog took off.
Over the past few weeks, Justin has had a little peek of what our life at home is really like. The first day we were all home at our house (a single story ranch with bedrooms all sharing walls), he came out of his “office” at one point and said “there’s been so much crying today! Is everything all right?!” and I looked at him and burst out laughing. It was just the regular amount of sibling squabbles, toddler tantrums, minor bumps and boo boos and the normal amount of crying we experience in a day. It’s been an adjustment for both of us but it has given him a peek at what it’s like to be a work from home parent and that has been really impactful for me. We’re glad to have him working from home and while he does have “essential” status, we hope to keep him home for as long as possible.
My personal status has been overall really good. As someone who suffers from anxiety, this type of situation is actually one that I can plan for and prep during, so in this case, my extreme need for a plan is well served. I have said many times that I feel like it’s my “job” to set the emotional tone in our home and I’m working endlessly to keep the tone/vibe of our home positive and controlled. I check in with myself regularly and am proud of how I’ve managed it all emotionally but my body often makes it clear that the stress has to give somewhere. I am physically exhausted on a level that I typically only experience when Justin travels internationally for weeks at a time. When I crawl into bed at night, I crash and don’t move until the alarm goes off the next morning. If I lay down on the sofa to snuggle the kids, I have to struggle to stay awake. My body is just damn tired from holding onto all of the emotional labor that comes along with this motherhood role. It is what it is and, if I’m being honest, I’ll take the physical exhaustion if I can keep my anxiety in check.
On a totally different note, our master bath renovation was finished and inspected just before all of the social distancing restrictions were put into place. It’s safe to say that we’ve fallen in love with it – and it might be one of my favorite designs to date. I wish I could show you the complete remodel but I don’t have the type of camera lens that allows me to shoot in such a narrow space. I’m bummed to not have it photographed yet but promise to have it shot the second I can. Trust me when I say the transformation is unreal.
We’ve been working hard to support our locally owned businesses and restaurants, played ABC Mouse for hours on end, been grateful for every second of sunshine, consumed many bottles of wine, had virtual get togethers with friends, been so very worried about both my small business and my family’s, lost sleep over the children who aren’t “safe at home”, prayed that the suffering around us can end, celebrated the birth of babies and hugged our own very, very tight.
I hope each of you are staying healthy and safe, I’m thinking of all of you and your families.
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