flowers are nice but a nap would be better….
Dear Husband and Father Of My Offspring,
I know we rarely exchange gifts on Valentine’s Day but this year just feels like a year to give. Let’s be honest, we both know we won’t get a sitter so we might as well plan to stay home and live it up Toddler Parent Style. With that in mind, you might as well go ahead and grab me a little something from this list, you know, in the name of keeping things “spicy”.
What I Really Want For Valentine’s Day
If they are fleece, thick, cover every inch of me and have lots of give in the midsection, then you’re in the right department. I want something that screams “oh baby, let’s go to bed at 7pm”.
This ensemble will do.
I hear this little drug store number is all the rage. Perfect for hiding the evidence of our coupling and the resulting lack of sleep for the past 19 months. I’ll slap this one on my face and we’ll both pretend that I look as fresh as I did the day you first laid eyes on me.
Every girl dreams of a new bauble for Valentine’s but I say why reinvent the wheel? Let’s just reinvent my old baubles that no longer fit thanks to post pregnancy weight gain and ligament stretching. Go ahead and call the jeweler, mama needs her rings back!
Good Old Fashioned Coupon Book
Let’s kick it old school and hand make each other a little something sweet. Maybe a coupon book filled with goodies I can redeem whenever my heart desires. I think “Redeem For One Entire Sink Full Of Dishes” sounds like something I just might consider cashing in before the pesky expiration date!
I know you probably had your heart set on a little hanky panky on this oh so holy day of love but I would suggest skipping Victoria and heading straight to her distant relative, Spanx. Nothing feels sexier than panties that I can pull up to my bra strap, you know what I mean? Want to really seal the deal? How about snagging me a full coverage bra that can wrangle my set back to their original locale. Just be sure that it looks sturdy and comfy because these babies are long past “demi” and “bralette”.
While a spa day is a sweet idea, the prospect of booking a babysitter and shelling out her fees seems a bit much, so why not just grab me this. It smells potent fancy enough that we can both pretend that I managed to find time to shower by the time you come home from work.
I love you, now let’s celebrate passionately with a nap.