snapped tonight, post dinner, and yes, that is what my manicure currently looks like. 
Dear Dinnertime,
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I legitimately loathe you. 
I get it, trust me, I do – Family Dinner is important for the stability of my family unit, instils confidence in my offspring and shows off my domestic prowess and all that, but honestly, I just can’t with you any more. So tonight, while my family was slowly but surely refusing to eat every bite of the meal I lovingly slaved over, I came up with a list of why you suck so hard. So, without further ado, here are the top 4 reasons Dinnertime can go eff itself: 
1. The Time. 
How is it that Dinner shows up at the worst part of our day, every day? Right smack in the middle of the newborn’s Witching Hour and my pre-schooler’s nightly meltdown over his socks being too tight, Dinner presents itself in the form of an empty fridge and a hungry family. And just for the record, even if the fridge wasn’t empty, there would still be “nothing to eat”. I nightly praise the Gods Of All Things Processed for microwavable mac + cheese cups and yogurt in a tube. 
2. The Forethought. 
Somehow, while wearing a screaming baby and finding the Everest episode of Paw Patrol on the DVR, I’m supposed to scheme up, organize and prep a beautiful meal, all while fighting the urge to lie down and mainline boxed wine. Oh, wait. Was I supposed to have taken my two wild beasts to the actual grocery store with a list and a prayer in order to pull this whole Dinner thing off? Yeah, thanks but no thanks. 
3. The Process. 
Let me be clear here, it’s not just the actual meal prep that fuels my hate fire. It’s the process of dragging everyone to the table, ideally with pants on, requesting that everyone use their napkin and that no one wipe their boogers on anyone else that really wears me down. I mean, how many times can one woman say “we don’t put our feet on the table!” before losing her mind? Hint: the answer is infinity. 
4. The Aftermath. 
And then. Then, after all of that effort and Pinteresting, Dinner is over in two minutes flat, barely consumed and discarded for yours truly to clean up. So many dishes, so little cares to give. The only silver lining to the endless cycle that is kitchen clean up is everyone manages to vanish the second the dishes hit the sink… which means mama can scrape plates in peace. And honestly, with all of the dishwasher steam and scented dish soap bubbles, I can close my eyes and almost feel the spa vibes. Almost. 
It’s no wonder my three year old can give accurate directions to Dominos. 
The Mom Who Just Made Scrambled Eggs For Dinner