I’m nosy.
Like, super nosy. And I wonder what other people do all day – especially other moms. Do you really do arts and crafts with your toddlers? Make organic meals from scratch? Have a sit down dinner?
That’s not exactly how things go around here.
I thought I would jot down a day in the life, just in case you wanted to feel better about your own day in the motherhood trenches. 
7:00 am wake up to the sound of the baby yelling from his crib. 
Not crying, but yelling. He’s content but hungry and the yelling is hunger induced.
7:05 sweetly (I’m hoping) ask Justin if he’ll make the bottle and get the baby
7:07 Justin gets out of bed and makes a bottle, mostly because he went to bed super early last night and isn’t grumpy. Wish I had done the same, instead I was up way too late watching TLC. Low point.
7:07 Gray gets into bed with us and begins his morning ritual of drinking a bottle of cold milk and kicking me until I wake up enough to entertain him. While he drinks from cups with straws and various sippy cups throughout the day, he insists on beginning and ending his day with a bottle. I’m sure that I should be concerned but the bottle is not a battle I care to fight at 7am.
7:10 must have dozed off while the baby played piglet between us. I am rewarded by the baby kicking me right in the stomach and then literally seconds later head butting Justin in the nose. Ok, we’re all up now. And 2 out of the three of us are crying. 
7:11 FaceTime Megan so the baby (and I) can wish her a happy birthday. He manages to show her his tummy (my personal fave in the baby trick arsenal) and attempt to crawl off of the bed in a matter of two moves. FaceTime over.
 7:30 make a move for the play room. Turn on Jake and the Neverland Misfits or whatever to buy myself some time in the kitchen.
7:35 pop a piece of cinnamon raisin toast in the toaster for the baby and get out the Sharpie to begin the labeling of all things for Mother’s Day Out.
7:40 toss the toast to the baby and swap places with Justin. I spray an entire can of dry shampoo on my head while he gets his shoes on and breakfast together in the kitchen so he can keep an eye on the baby who is pretending to eat his toast but is actually feeding it to the dog. 
8:00 I give up on my hair, slap on some foundation, dig work out clothes out of the dryer and get dressed. It’s not a good look but I’m hopeful I’ll have time to get it together later today (sike. I won’t). Tuesday is now my only “free” day of the week sans baby so I want to make sure I get all of my errands and appointments checked off the list. On Thursday I head back to work at my old job on a very part time contract basis (surprise!) so I’m feeling the pinch to get things done today.

8:20 say good bye to the husband, grab the baby and head for the nursery. I dread the diaper changes with this one, he can be really, uh, displeased with the process.
 Pull out all of my tricks and get through the change relatively unscathed.
He decides that his new fave thing is to pull out all of the diaper changing supplies from the bucket on his dresser/changing table while I try to get him dressed and I decide we need a new perch for costume changes. Fact: nothing is harder than jamming a toddler hand through sleeves, with or without a tube of Desitin clutched between his baby fingers. I wrangle him into shorts and a sweater and hope I’m relatively on par for today’s weather. Shoes will have to happen once he’s strapped into the car seat.
8:45 plop G back in his playroom and pull out some of the extras in our linen closet. Our neighborhood is doing a drive for the flood victims in Columbia, SC, bedding is needed and we have plenty to spare.
8:47 realize how late it is and abandon the linen closet and make a move towards loading the car. Check all of the things, load my bag and his backpack into the car, go back for the baby, load him and wrangle him into his mocs. A paci is required because shoe wearing is traumatic. I need coffee.
9:00 am drop G off at school. His teachers love him, he loves school and I’m lucky that starting school has been so positive for my babe. 
Forget the tuition check, go out to the car, come back, drop it off – otherwise I’ll forget until forever.
9:05 sit in the parking lot and read emails for the first time today. Instagram a funny pic of Meg to say happy birthday/pay her back for the pic she grammed of me on National Best Fried Day (which is not a real thing but whatever).
9:25 pull into my neighborhood Starbucks and worry about the time. Hope I can get in and out before my 9:30 Willow Crowns meeting.
9:30 meeting canceled but new items on the To Do List. Hope that I’ll remember them because I haven’t had enough coffee yet. 
9:45 sit in my driveway drinking coffee and burning data on social media. I meant to look up the address for the donation drop but mostly got side tracked on Instagram. Oops.
10:00 am go through the baby’s outgrown clothes, our towels, bedding and pillows and pull together a pretty good amount of items to run to the volunteers headed to Columbia. 
Hop in the car to make the drop.
10:30 head to the bank – glad Justin sent me that text as a reminder because I would have completely blown that task. Ooops again. Consider getting another coffee because I am not on my game today. Also consider showering but know that won’t happen.
11am pull into the chiropractor’s office. Ugh. My ribs have been jacked since my Frank Breech baby tried to bust his way out of me and it they hurt like whoa today. The chiropractor pops them back in but honestly, it’ll be a matter of minutes before one pops back out. Put that on the list of things they don’t tell you before you get knocked up. Also, consider what it might take for Justin to learn to pop my ribs back in – sounds risky but potentially worth it.
11:20 get a text from Justin to see if I want to meet for lunch before our appointment about the last of the renovation stuff at our house. I’m always up for lunch so I skip my intended errand to get something that I’m sure we can actually live without. For the record, we can live without everything but milk and goldfish (and wine). 
11:30 meet the husband, have a relatively deep conversation about the remaining plans for this house, what’s left on the construction to do list and how long we think we’ll really live here over turkey subs. Such is life when parents don’t have their toddler in tow. Glam.
Noon. Boring appointment about the renovation. #overit.
1pm flee boring appointment, realize I have very little time until pick up and sprint across town to Home Goods. My parents fly in on Thursday and our guest room hasn’t been cleared out and set up yet. Grab sheets, a cute throw blanket (gah, they have so many cute blankets) and new drawer pulls for our antique side tables. Dread the process of standing in line at HG because it always takes FORever. Look forward to finally pulling together the guest room – the paint color is maybe top two that I’ve ever used and I can’t wait to see it in action. And no, I cannot currently see it in action because the boxes are stacked to the ceiling.
1:45 holy crap, going to be late for MDO pick up. They don’t play at MDO, if you’re 5 minutes late you get charged. Bust through the doors at 2:03 and pretend like I’m perfectly on time. Also pretend that I’m dressed like this/look like this because I worked out today. I’m fairly certain no one is buying it.
2:05 teachers think G must be cutting a tooth because he was fussy today. I don’t bother to explain that he’s in the middle of a Grandparent Detox but I do make a mental note to pull out the baby Motrin when I get home.
2:07 Gray is very displeased to be strapped into his car seat. Onlookers stare.
2:15 carry a sleeping baby into the house, get him settled in his crib and hope for a long nap for his sake. Side note: I love carrying him from the car to his room when he’s sleeping. Weird, but true.
Check his report card and laugh that the space next to “chatty” is checked. He always, always, always scores a check mark next to chatty. He comes by it naturally. 
2:17 unload the car from the day, toss the new bedding from HG in the wash, take the dog outside and sit on the back porch for a second while she plays. The sun is out and the Short Term Mainer in me can’t resist the sunshine. The Lab in her can’t resist chasing a chipmunk into the neighbors yard. Time for us both to go in, apparently.
2:20 head back into the house with every intention of sweeping and mopping the floors. Sit down with my laptop and work on something creative and totally not helpful instead. Crowd source my idea and get a teensy bit excited about it.
4 pm hear the baby waking up, realize how much time has passed. Guess the floors (and the dishes) aren’t getting done. Set the baby up for an awesome snack situation because he is usually hella grumpy after his school day nap time.
4:05 so grumpy. He honestly likes to be left alone when he’s in a mood (he also comes by that naturally) so I set him up with his snack time loot and get going on some pointless chores in the kitchen. Clean out the pantry, put away some dishes, mostly avoid the floors.
4:45 text Justin about his ETA and read books to the baby who has rebounded nicely from his mood.
5 pm realize I should make a dinner plan.
5:02 Decide not to make a dinner plan, pour wine instead.
5:45 Justin walks in the door. Amen.
6:15 my mom FaceTimes the baby which involves me holding my phone as far away from my body as possible and the baby crawling all over me in an attempt to touch her face on the screen. It’s the next best thing to aerobics. 
6:40 I holler for Justin to get on with filling that bath tub up casually note the time and ask Justin if he is ready to begin the bath time routine. I, for one, am ready. 
6:45 Justin takes the kiddo and wrangles him into the tub. Ah, personal space.
I clean the playroom, make a bottle, find clean pj’s that fit (harder to do that I’d like to admit, this kid grows so fast) and get the crib ready with blankets, pacis and bear, in that order.
7:10 walk into the kitchen and pour more wine. 
I think I’ll be drinking my calories tonight.
7:20 sit down to blog and check emails while watching Justin open and close the freezer, fridge and pantry out of the corner of my eye. We recently decided that we are both “off duty” after bath time is over, meaning we are equally responsible for making dinner. I’m secretly hoping he’ll order a pizza.
7:2 catch sight of the giant pile of laundry by my feet. I really need to get on that but I loathe laundry. I don’t mind starting it but the folding and putting away part just isn’t my jam. 
7:30 Justin decides on Spaghetti. Believe it or not, I hate spaghetti. Wine for dinner it is!
7:45 establish my plan for the rest of the night:
Do the dishes, sweep and mop the floor and finish the laundry 
write witty blog post recapping my day (hope that it isn’t tedious), take shower, get into bed, watch tv and flip through social media until way too late.

Wash, rinse, repeat.
See you kids tomorrow!